a year ago today i was in a happy healthy relationship. a year ago i was in one of the best mental states that i have ever been in. a year ago i was happy, in love, taking care of myself. a lot has changed in the past year. in february i was blind sided with a break up out of the blue that truly rocked my entire world upside down. im still not completely healed. i cried every day for months. i would see him and get panic attacks. i was so angry. i was so hurt. i neglected taking care of myself, even the basic of things like brushing my hair or teeth. i very recklessly spent alot of money. i gained alot of weight. i stopped smiling. i had lost myself and all of the progress that i had made; even progress that i had made without him in my life, before i had even met him. i relapsed, started hurting myself frequently for a while. a struggled so badly with getting out of bed and living.
on tuesday, i took anything of his that i still had (photos, letters, gifts etc) and burned it all. i screamed while i did it, and released any leftover residue the breakup had left on my soul and heart. i am not the same person that i was before i met him, and no where close to the girl that i was with him (which happened to be my favorite version of myself) but i am claiming all of that back.
i am no longer giving him power over my emotions. i release them all. i am healing.
